How long does physical merchandise take to arrive?

Physical items (mugs, t-shirts, hoodies, totes, prints) are custom-made to order through regional print-on-demand fulfillment. Allow 2–5 business days for production, then 3–7 business days transit once it ships — you'll get a tracking link by email the moment it's dispatched.

Do I have to pay customs or import fees?

Usually not. Orders route automatically to the closest regional fulfillment center to you (UK, USA, Canada, Europe, Australia, or New Zealand), so most orders within those markets don't incur international customs fees or import duties.

Can I return physical merchandise?

Yes — you have 30 days after receiving your item to request a return. It needs to be unworn/unused, in original packaging, with proof of purchase. Email hq@stiffcompetition.shop to start a return; items sent back without an approved request won't be accepted. Custom, personalized, or sale items aren't eligible for return.

My order arrived damaged or wrong — what do I do?

Inspect your order as soon as it arrives and email hq@stiffcompetition.shop right away if anything's defective, damaged, or incorrect, so it can be sorted out.

How long do refunds take once approved?

Once a return is approved, you're automatically refunded to your original payment method within 10 business days. Bank/card processing can add a bit more time on top of that. If it's been more than 15 business days since approval, email hq@stiffcompetition.shop.

What sizes do the t-shirts and hoodies come in?

Apparel is fulfilled via Gelato's standard print-on-demand sizing — check the size chart on each product page for exact measurements before ordering, since fit can vary slightly by garment style.

Who are the Stiff Competition characters?

Six 1994-era action figure archetypes: Major Wood, Rear Admiral, Hammerin' Hanky, The Grip, Slick Willy, and Velvet Python — an ongoing story property, not a one-off origin drop.

What major products does Stiff Competition sell?

Print-on-demand merchandise — mugs, t-shirts, hoodies, tote bags and museum-quality art prints — plus digital downloads such as wallpapers and sticker packs, all featuring the six Stiff Competition characters. Collectible one-of-one pieces are released on OpenSea.

What are the SC stat traits?

Each collectible piece carries a set of parody "stat" traits in the same spirit as 90s trading cards — Friction Force, Innuendo Intensity, Tactical Girth and Structural Rigidity, each scored numerically. They are part of the collectible's playful character rather than a technical spec.

What payment methods do you accept?

Standard checkout payment methods — major credit/debit cards, and options like Shop Pay, Apple Pay, Google Pay and PayPal where shown.

How do I track my order?

For physical merchandise, you'll get a tracking link by email as soon as your item is dispatched from the fulfillment center. Digital downloads arrive by email immediately after checkout.

Do you offer discount codes or promotions?

Join the mailing list on the site for updates on drops and any promotions — that's the best way to hear about anything currently running.

How do I contact Stiff Competition?

Email hq@stiffcompetition.shop for anything — orders, returns or general enquiries.

What law governs my purchase?

All purchases and site use are governed by the laws of England and Wales, with courts of England and Wales having exclusive jurisdiction over any disputes.

1994 Series

OPENSEA The Blueprint lands on OpenSea on 17 November See the collection

THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

Regular price £7.99 GBP

Regular price Sale price £7.99 GBP
A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

Regular price £7.99 GBP

Regular price Sale price £7.99 GBP
FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

Regular price £7.99 GBP

Regular price Sale price £7.99 GBP
SLIPPERY: Slick Willy Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

SLIPPERY: Slick Willy Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

Regular price £7.99 GBP

Regular price Sale price £7.99 GBP
UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

Regular price £7.99 GBP

Regular price Sale price £7.99 GBP
SC-94 MUSEUM ART: THE VELVET PYTHON (RIGID)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: THE VELVET PYTHON (RIGID)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
SC-94 MUSEUM ART: SLICK WILLY (GRIN AND BEAR IT)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: SLICK WILLY (GRIN AND BEAR IT)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
SC-94 MUSEUM ART: Major Wood (EXPLOSIVE)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: Major Wood (EXPLOSIVE)

Regular price £26.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £26.00 GBP
Slick Willy 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

Slick Willy 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

Regular price £18.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £18.00 GBP
The Velvet Python 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

The Velvet Python 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

Regular price £18.00 GBP

Regular price Sale price £18.00 GBP

PREPARE FOR MAXIMUM DEPLOYMENT! Welcome to the 1994 Series—the premiere drop from STIFF COMPETITION COLLECTIBLES. We’ve stripped away the "soft" world of modern merchandise and returned to the era of high-gloss plastic, 5-point articulation, and raw industrial grit.

This is the STIFF COMPETITION arsenal. Each asset is engineered for maximum structural integrity, featuring the iconic "Electric 94" color palette and a fixed-axis vertical chassis for total rigidity. Whether you are outfitting your HQ with official gear or building your collection, these units are built to stay up.

SERIES SPECIFICATIONS:

ULTRA-RIGID DESIGN: No sag, no drag, just pure static power.
1994 "EXTREME" VIBE: High-gloss finishes and gritty warehouse aesthetics.

RETAIL-READY GEAR: Engineered for high-pressure situations and manual locking holds.

STIFF COMPETITION: ALWAYS STANDING TALL!

Warning: Each unit sold separately. Not responsible for sudden loss of rigidity during play.

Collection: 1994 Series

THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

SLIPPERY: Slick Willy Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

SLIPPERY: Slick Willy Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

THE PYTHON IS HUNGRY: Velvet Python Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

FULLY EXTENDED: Hammerin' Hanky Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

A FIRM HOLD: The Grip Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

IMMEDIATE BOARDING: The Rear Admiral Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Museum Print (16 x 24 in)

UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

UP AND STAYING UP: Major Wood Poster Download (Print It Yourself)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: THE VELVET PYTHON (RIGID)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: THE VELVET PYTHON (RIGID)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: SLICK WILLY (GRIN AND BEAR IT)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: SLICK WILLY (GRIN AND BEAR IT)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: Major Wood (EXPLOSIVE)

SC-94 MUSEUM ART: Major Wood (EXPLOSIVE)

Slick Willy 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

Slick Willy 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

The Velvet Python 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

The Velvet Python 'SC-94 Rigid Authority' (15oz Collector’s Edition)

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Collection: 1994 Series

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