The Velvet Python
Figure 5 of 6 · Series One
The Velvet Python
Wrestler · Submission
Field file
Don’t let the soft texture fool you; this serpent is as rigid as they come. Clad in skin-tight velvet and high-gloss snakeskin, he is a master of “coiled” positions and unyielding “choking” holds. A charismatic “animal expert” obsessed with “long, tubular specimens,” he utilises a “smooth approach” for maximum constriction. Whether he’s hunting in the ring or posing with his findings, he won’t release his grip until the target is completely overwhelmed by his high-torque wrap!
Every figure keeps two treasured personal items close at hand. Meet the totems.
Signature blurbSmooth on the outside, relentless on the inside. He wraps you up slowly and doesn’t let go.
Finishing moveThe slow squeeze.
LoreKnown for his smooth approach and his obsession with constriction. Claims to be an animal expert, but mostly poses with long, tubular objects and insists they are “exotic specimens.”
Catchphrases
“The Python is hungry.”
“Wrap yourself in luxury. The Python is hungry.”
“I prefer a slow squeeze. It’s more… professional.”
“Don’t be afraid of the scales; I’m smooth where it counts.”
From the archive
Listed on the 1994 trade sell sheet as a Wrestler.
Trump card
RIG · Ultra-Rigidity94
INT · Innuendo Intensity91
FRC · Friction Force65
GIR · Tactical Girth95
Rigid-dyne lab photo
One of the only surviving photographs of The Velvet Python in his original packaging.
Meet the other five
Major Wood
The Rear Admiral
Hammerin’ Hanky
The Grip
Slick WillyInterview with The Velvet Python
Coming soon
Character reveal
Coming soon
Transmissions Archive
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Bill, UK · Stiff & Slippery ringer tee